I was in a bar in DUMBO, Brooklyn last night and there was this alcoholic guy with a beard and a moustache, kind of Moses style, in there ranting and raving and mumbling and threatening to sue and then becoming docile in the way of those people who just act like a bar is their insane asuylum and the bartender is the humoring warden. He was so goddamn depressing, he looked like some old Russian intellectual but in DUMBO you know the guy is not Russian but from Peoria or something and faking it. The bartender was so coked up he was almost screaming everytime he talked and filled my drink up with ginger ale (the house red sucked and I had to turn a sangria to make it drinkable) so fast I couldn't see his hands move to the glass from the drink gun mount, it was that fast. "Let's all take our clothes off and FUCK EACHOTHER!" he said, "lets have an ORGY!" Of course it was just exactly this kind of mood and the full blast Moby playing on the speakers that kept the bearded guy going until 2am when they forced him into a car service, saying to all of the other people sitting in the bar "He's a 12th grade teacher! Just imagine, that guy is going to be teaching goddamn kids at 7:30 in the morning, in five hours!" I almost asked the guy, as he was courted to the lincoln, if he believed whether or not Bush lied to us by using weapons of mass destruction as a reason to start the war in the middle east. Because that was Ryan Gosling's excuse to smoke crack in the girls bathroom stall of the school he taught 8th grade in in the movie "Half Nelson."
Half Nelson was really entertaining, just like reading a James Frey book. But the part that kills you when the whole thing finishes and you're digesting it the next day is the premise for the pathology that we find so car-wreck-fascinating: Ryan Gosling, a cool, well meaning civil rights intellectual and record player owner (no, he doesn't like MP3s, okay?) has been driven to destroy himself with crack and completely comprimise the integrity of his leadership position as a teacher of sweet, gullible 8th graders in his class in a Brooklyn public school because of George Bush and the other republicans. "I went to see a movie," said my friend Niles, "and instead I get this fucking "message" shoved down my throat. If someone had advertised it as a political film I never would have gone to see it." What Niles was referring to specifically were these embarassing segements of "art film" within the narrative, random clips of the earnest students in Gosling's class giving oral presentations in front of old black and white projector reel clips of various civil liberties horrorshows for black people. I guess we are supposed to think that the war in the middle east is just another one and the president is like a Klu Klux Klan member or something. And that poor Ryan Gosling, the good man, a nostalgic with what the Irish call a long memory, is so tormented by our government that he has no choice but to smoke crack and destroy himself, corrupt his classroom, and most of all corrupt what he is "supposed" to become: a white leader.
If you can manage to watch the film without puking at this alleged social zeitgeist go for it, as I said its still damn entertaining.