The Nerve Film Lounge: Q&A: Lili Taylor


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For most of the '90s, Lili Taylor was the leonine face of independent film, turning in sharp performances in (among dozens) Short Cuts, I Shot Andy Warhol, Girls Town and High Fidelity. A former depressed teenager led to acting on the suggestion of her therapist, she often played unstable or unusual women, as in her starring turn in Warhol. It's hard to find a Taylor interview from that period that doesn't contain the phrase "quirky roles."

But recently, Taylor has been more interested in stability. Domestically settled and eight months pregnant, she's starring in Starting Out in the Evening as a sane, emotionally mature, and utterly appealling dance teacher. Not to say troubled characters are entirely behind her; a few years ago she headlined in the acclaimed revival of Aunt Dan and Lemon, Wallace Shawn's harrowing play about a Nazi-sympathizing shut-in. And Six Feet Under fans will surely remember her as Nate's needy wife Lisa. But whether she's playing "quirky" or quirk-free, Taylor is never less than emotionally acute. That intuition will serve her well if she fulfills her goal of writing and directing — an eventuality for which all film fans should cross their fingers. — Peter Smith

You tend to do a lot of research for your parts. What you did to prepare for Starting Out in the Evening?
More and more I've been trying to not do as much. It's about kind of getting out of my way and opening up.

Trying to be more intuitive?
Yeah.

And you didn't read the novel, right?
No, because Andrew [Wagner, director] asked me not to.

So what did you bring to the character?
I feel that I showed up to what Andrew was looking for, which was courage, bravery. That's hard, you know, because there's nothing to hide behind. It's harder playing someone who doesn't have a diagnosis or a neurosis. I'm more interested in that stuff now.

So no more "quirky roles?"
Yeah. I won't judge what the times were or why I [took the roles] I did, and I do think that [earlier in my career] women's roles in film were changing a little bit, and it's almost like maybe I went a little to one end of the spectrum. But when there's not a big spectrum. . .

promotion

You just did interesting parts.
Exactly. Women we don't get to see a lot or society doesn't want to see or blah blah blah. But as I've gotten older I've been more interested in the stuff that's a little. . .

More understated.
Yes.

You used to go to the DSM to analyze your characters. Did you ever think about being a therapist?
A little bit. But I only have a high-school diploma — I'd have to start at the beginning of college. I think I get the same feeling of meaning from psychology that I get from acting. Sometimes reading a good book about psychology, about the human condition, I feel filled up with a sense of meaning. And that's what acting can do, too, to me. When I see a good piece of art or something, it's like, oh, I know why I'm here, and why we're here.

So it's true that you were kicked out of college?
Yeah, I only got a couple months of college education. It was a conservatory, and they're very strict about taking outside work. I was gonna miss one day, and this job would've paid for my third quarter, and everyone said yes but the one teacher. I went through the whole damn rigamarole, but just one teacher said no, he wouldn't let me miss one class. Then we got into a fight, and then he said don't come back, I said I don't want to come back, and hung up the phone.

Well, you showed him!
Yeah, right! [laughs]

Are you more likely to take an average role in a good script or a good role in an average script?
I look to the director. I'd rather do a scene-study class with twelve people if I really wanted to explore a character, but why put everyone else through it if there's nothing to support me? Who cares?

Do you feel like you have total freedom to pick whatever role you want? Or do you do "one for them and one for you?"
No, I don't feel that, but because of the limitations of commerce, I don't feel a freedom. Then again, I realize if I were in the Middle Ages doing Everyman I probably would be dead by now. So, any time I'm living there's going to be a burden.

So in what way do you feel limited?
The financial aspects are getting in the way. I didn't feel that in the '90s. Now that I think about it, who the hell was forking up that money in the '90s? Now I guess they figured out, "Oh, we don't have to spend a lot, but we can make a lot."

Somebody's making a lot, but it's not you.
Right! But I'll hang in there! [laughs]

Do you like to see your work?
I do. In the '90s I felt like I was seeing it all the time, I was always at the dailies with the director and so on. TV's funny. I think that's when I started to feel a little different about it, being in Six Feet Under. That just felt more confusing to me. It was better for me not to see it.

Peter Krause talks about how being Nate for five years was incredibly draining. Did you feel the same about Lisa?
No, he was really Job, so he had a whole other thing going on, and I think I did see it happening with all those characters in a way, a heaviness. What they were carrying.

With that character, it was four years of circling the drain.
Yeah, that's right. I had a different burden than they had. I think for me it was more just the confusion of a weekly thing. It's different from seeing dailies for a film. A film comes out and then it's over. And so that's when I started to get confused about watching myself.

You've said your technique is not method. Does that give you more distance?
I like this guy Michael Chekhov, who broke off from Stanislavski. The one thing I don't like about the method is that sometimes it feels a little indulgent — for me — some of my favorite actors are method actors — but it feels sometimes like it's me and then the character, as opposed to the character and then me. If I'm all in my memories and my stuff, I feel like the character gets lost, and that's when it doesn't serve me. I use Stanislavski's books — I pull them out when I'm working — but not all the exercises work for me.

When I saw Aunt Dan and Lemon in high school, the girl who was playing Lemon was saying how unbearable it was to voice that hideous argument every night and not be compelled by it. How did you stay separate from that and still make it convincing?
Well, that's kind of the modern question, you know? That's why the Greeks had masks — the actors were protected, and there were more rituals then to help.

It was more stylized.
Exactly. There was a crossing over. These days, there's not a lot of stuff actors can use to protect themselves from the roles, and protect themselves from the audience's projections. I've been thinking about this, because I have gotten a bit drained by some of my theater experiences. I love theater and I'll always do it, but I've realized that I need to find the equivalent of a mask: how do I not bring it home, and then how do I let go of whatever I've got before I go on the stage. So I've been coming up with little things that I can do that are almost the equivalent of a mask. Lemon was very hard. I had to have a couple of conversations with her — she wasn't allowed in. "When I leave the theater, you're staying in the dressing room, hon. You're not coming home with me!" [laughs]

You were working on a script about two sisters. What happened with that?
I'm on my fourth or fifth draft, and I'm now in the period of needing to get it out there to friends, and then needing to start to muster confidence that I can do it.

You can do it!
Thank you!


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