5. Alfie (1966) vs. Alfie (2004)
Though Michael Caine's version might be more beloved (he was nominated for an Oscar, and the role launched his stellar career), the 2004 version has a big advantage: modern-day Hollywood's flexible morals when it comes to sex. Each film opens with
Alfie putting his limo to very good use, but in 1966 the camera is outside the vehicle, squinting through opaque windows. By contrast, Jude Law's Alfie has Jane Krakowski on his lap and in full view. Ditto Alfie's affair with
his best friend's wife — in Caine's version, he demurely pecks her on the cheek as the camera pans away. In the remake, we get Nia Long with her shirt unzipped just so, dancing and smoking in a closed bar before Jude lifts her onto a pool table. — N.A.
Winner: Remake
6. Open Your Eyes (1997) vs. Vanilla Sky (2001)
A beautiful anomaly amongst remakes, this is not only film versus film, but also Penelope Cruz's breasts circa 1997 versus Penelope Cruz's breasts circa 2001. In the Spanish original, Cruz is fresh faced, glowing, and gorgeous — you just want to eat her up, even if you can't tell what the hell is going on because you don't speak Spanish. In Vanilla Sky, we have a lovely view of her naked breasts, which are just as astoundingly pert as they were four years prior. Unfortunately, we also have a view of post-Cocktail Tom Cruise, and that's our tipping point here. — N.A.
Winner: Original
©2007 Nicole Ankowski & Nerve.com